Absofruitilicious

Actually, it started before high school, before I remember going to school even.

I got bullied…  a lot… by other girls, the boys, sometimes teachers would even call me out for being “not normal.” 

“Colleen, why don’t you like hanging out with the other girls?” My parents would ask me. “Colleen, I know you want to play with the boys, but they don’t want to play with you.” “Colleen why don’t you wear girlier clothes so people like you?”

At school it was always, “Colleen is a lesbian!” (I am in fact, not a lesbian.) “Colleen’s clothes are from a thrift store.” “Colleen’s shirt was only $3.” “Colleen doesn’t carry a purse like we do.”“Colleen doesn’t wear a bra yet!” “Colleen doesn’t have contacts yet.” “Colleen does karate, she should be dong dance like us.” “Colleen has never kissed a boy before!”

Eventually, in high school, if you were one of the unwanted ones people just completely stopped talking to you.  They shut the doors in your face, didn’t work with you in science classes, ran into you in the hallways and didn’t say anything.  They made sure you didn’t exist, even to yourself.

To this day, I thank them for it, for everything.  For making me feel like shit, for making me lock myself in my room and cry for hours. I became strong, independent.  I realized what I’m good at, and I excelled.  I found the people like me, who were ignored, humiliated, and abused by others, and I made real friends.  I was a “weird” kid.  Instead of changing for everyone else, I decided to stay “weird,” it was more fun that way.  I created a personality.  I created the girl known at Colleen.  She is a person.  Now I walk around and see girls in groups who are complete clones of each other.  Those were the girls who made my life miserable.  There isn’t anything special about them.  They are exact copies of one another, the can be interchanged and switched around, and no one has any regrets doing so either.  So, they may be hotter than me.  Okay?  They can’t hold a conversation.  They can’t make you laugh.  Only the interesting people can.  Only the people with a burdened past can.  Pain makes a person interesting.  Why do we fear pain then?  Because it hurts?  It’s there for a reason.  It makes us who we are.  The sheltered, hold ignorance.  The pained, accept others.  

My brother is a homosexual.  He has never told our parents.  In high school I beat up many kids who threatened him.  He has probably been though more shit than I have.  Boys picked fights with him - he’s a pacifist.  I would clean him up during school after he got mugged so that our parents wouldn’t know.  Our religion says that homosexuality is a sin, yet he still believes in God.  He still goes to church every week.  He still prays, respects religious holidays, does church youth group.  He a genuinely kind person.  Yet, according to Catholic beliefs, he is still going to hell.  Personally, I believe in God, but not religion.  Religion is for the blind, the ignorant, the people who set rules on faith.  The people who say that my brother, who has never once sinned, is destined to hell, and those same people cheat on there husbands and wives, teach their children to hate people like my brother and I, people who are a little bit different. 

Those people, allow their children to hate people who are different. 

My youngest brother has some mental stability issues.  He has learning disabilities, which require him to go to a different high school than my other brother and I attended.  It is a catholic school.  He gets watched every minute of every day.  People are there to make sure he is to do exactly what he’s supposed to at every second.  They are attempting to conform him to become like everybody else.  He used to have one of the most creative minds I have ever seen, but now it’s almost as if his mind is locked within itself.  He’s not allowed to be creative anymore.  He got bad grades in school, so he needed their help they said.  Maybe he wasn’t meant for smart things.  Look at how he approached his school work.  Maybe you would learn something from him.  He used what he had learned in real life on problems, he chose not to go on the learning curve like everyone else.  If you would have seen this, and taught him the way he like to learn, maybe you would have been able to connect to him.  But instead, you are forcing your ways of being “normal” down his throat. You are destroying him.  Like you tried to destroy me.  Hopefully, one day he’ll figure out your lies, and become a great person. 

1. They’re attempting to get laid tonight. 

2. They’re a fucking liar.

3. They aren’t getting laid tonight

Oh emm gee its so fast and I want to keep it so its mine foreverrrrr

The best part of ferris bueller’s day off was most definitely the charlie sheen scene.